In part one of Look UP! Essentially, we generally get what we expect. In this installment, we’ll find out who’s creating our expectations and when they are created. Who cares enough about us to impose expectations? The apparent answer is friends and loved ones. Often, these expecations are positive and normal.
Let’s see…
For instance, if our partner expects us to be home to have dinner with the family, this may be a wonderful norm. Since we care about our family and friends, they have more energy than anybody else to affect our own view of our ability. Frequently, well-meaning relatives will dissuade someone from pursuing their true life purpose. One of the ways that this occurs is by planting doubt. Let’s say we truly feel that we have an ability to write. We also have a desire to pursue writing as a profession.
In subtle ways, a number of our family and friends start to plant doubts about our abilities or the opportunities in this career path. They might think they are protecting ushowever, from time to time, the end result is that we pick another route that we perceive to be risky. That’s right, we’re the most important person in our lives in determining our place in this world. We’re always comparing ourselves to other people.
We hear our own voice over any other. So, what are we saying to ourselves? If we’re saying that we could do it, we’re much more inclined to dismiss evidence to the contrary. Take one of the most famous historical examples, how successful would David have been against Goliath when he had been speaking defeat to himself? It’s possible he would have been ineffective if he hadn’t been rehearsing his previous successes in killing the lion and the bear with his bare hands.
Good to know
Besides the people in our inner circle of influence, you will find many others that have the ability to set expectations for us, if we give them the power. We just have to be aware that this happens. Sometimes, we are more inclined to change our view of ourselves because somebody that we admire has a different perspective. Rather than taking their word for it, we have to evaluate their view as quickly as possible. We don’t wish to shut ourselves off from change, but we do want to be certain that any change is a conscious option.
When Did I Choose? Unfortunately for many, the past controls the current. For many others, concerns about the future significantly impact their present view. If the last is controlling us, it’s usually in the kind of guilt. In the event of guilt, we do not feel worthy of success due to what we’ve done or have not done. As hard as it could be, we have to forego our feelings of unworthiness. Additionally, we have to forgive anyone for anything that’s eating away at us.
Final note
Unforgiveness doesn’t impact another person as much as it impacts us. In actuality, we would be amazed to learn how little time people consider us. If the future is commanding us, it’s usually in the kind of anxiety. The Bible informs us with great reason in Philippians 4:6,”Don’t be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Fear of the future is able to trap us at the present. Over causing us to become ineffective, guilt and stress have been linked to a lot of health risks such as heart disease, ulcers, and degraded immune system. From this, we surmise that the only appropriate time to set our expectations is at the present. While we have to consider our experiences and schooling from the past in addition to our dreams and goals for the future, the only time that we can really do it is now. The terrific news in looking up from where we are is that we can change where we are going.
