Anger is the basis of aggression, violence, and hostility. A good deal of researches are being conducted in psychiatric and psychological settings to underpin the fundamental causes of anger followed by varied treatment strategies beneficial for teenagers and adults.
What is anger?
Functionally, anger can be expected, researched as well as researched among children and teens by parents readily. The challenging part isn’t expecting and recognising causes of anger, but to take care of the child when he’s upset or demonstrates the anti-social behavior. Anger among children can be understood in different settings like faculty, schools, office and national surroundings nevertheless it has other dimensions also.
In accordance with National bullying survey 56% of young people mentioned, they’ve seen others being bullied online. Around 43 percent of people felt dangerous online. According to recent systematic review conducted by Hillis. Et. Al, (Paediatrics,2016), a billion children and youth aged 2-17 years experienced violence during annually. The study concluded that early exposures to violence can weaken the structure and functioning of the brain.
Young children are at higher risk anger, aggression, violence can impact their metabolic system, immune system and contribute to them to the path of mental health problems, diabetics and heart ailments. Often aggression during early childhood years isn’t considered seriously. Anger in toddlers, young children and teens can be understood in various ways. It may be hypothesised as a character trait or genetic element.
Social-cultural background also plays the substantial role in youth anger. Essentially, aggression is an attempt to control and harm someone else. However, in regards to kids and teenagers they shouldn’t be victimised of physical force or psychological distress with the intention to damage simply because they act in a way we don’t want them to. Hitting, spanking, or yelling at the child will cause poor impulse control, self-regulation in addition to poor expression of aggression.
The Rising Horizons of tomorrow don’t need authoritative, permissive or uninvolved parenting styles but a sense of gentle touch, affection, and love. Higher is the voice tone of an adult when managing the angry toddler or young child, higher will be his aggression.
Calmness, patience, and nonviolent environment are crucial components to enhance a child’s behavior. Essentially, child’s behavior is (directly proportional) very much influenced by parent’s behaviour! If the parent and child shout together then situation remains, the same with no enhancements. It’ll be like beating around the bush that has no outcome ever. Moreover, it affects child’s trustworthiness and psychological security (parent-child bonding) in the long run.
It’s important to realize that a child below the age of four or five years doesn’t have any intention to hurt anybody around him. He would like to explore the world through different body senses like touching different textures (examples-carpet, power plug points, keys of laptop, smartphone), observing contrasting colors and graphics to explore visuals (snatching telephone or iPad to find images or photographs ) and crying as they like their own voice but hitting, kicking or pinching parents or caregivers is their agenda fundamentally.
Even crying or getting angry isn’t their first option, it occurs only when they have no other choice to get their things done! Biting usually happens because of tethering element. At this developmental stage attention seeking behaviour is widespread which is misinterpreted as aggressive behavior of toddlers or young ones. A study performed by Dahl, A. (2015) in the University of California also indicates that the use of aggression from toddlers or young ones is unprovoked. Children involve into the explorative force to seek out attention.
Good to know
Unprovoked behaves presumably become less frequent from 18 months onwards as toddlers understand their aggression injuries’ others or they become sensitive towards other’s distress. So it ought to be understood that children aren’t biting or hitting blatantly to upset parents and siblings but due to their very own newness in the world. Children belonging to age group of 36 months are most likely to get aggressive. Following are a few of the hands-on, solution-based, nurturing approaches which could be explored to improve and strengthen child’s behavior, self-esteem in addition to parent-child bonding. It needs to be remembered, that every child differs however learning more about your child’s behavior and implementing these suggestions consistently can be beneficial.
When the child is aggressive it’s essential that parents must demonstrate patience, patience and standard voice of tone. Screaming and shouting won’t resolve the matter instead it will aggravate the aggression inside the child. Moreover, there’ll be the mirroring of parent’s actions. Parents should not waste time or follow “Let it go” approach considering this is his first time or he’s too young to comprehend instructions and gestures. As an example, if the child hits his younger sibling with no motive, for the first time, it ought to be addressed immediately. He wants to apologise and have a time-out of 3 to 5 minutes to calm down and think about his mistake, Later, parents can talk with him realise what wrong he’s done.
He should know about his actions and their consequences. Keynote: Setting rules for activities with related consequences is crucial. Praising plays an essential part. Appreciate kid’s attempts if he behaves well in social gatherings rather than shouting, kicking, pinching or being impulsive. Encourage his desired behaviour by rewarding him smileys or thumbs-up on the behavioural graph for great deed or kindness act such as opening doors for many others.
What to do?
Hugs and kisses are good to calm down an angry kid. In accordance with Sensory Integration theory, hugs provide deep pressure to body that’s a terrific way of relaxing the kid. Use of weighted blankets or blankets may also be useful for ADHD, Sensory Processing Disorders, Autism Spectrum Disorder. Most of the times anger is co-morbid with these conditions. Other approaches may be pat on the back, applauding or providing appreciation certificates on the achievement of the task. Some parents attempt to reinforce good behavior by awarding Lego, play station, X-Box, or chocolates that are common types of “bribing”.
This will be probably beneficial for the short term. Whenever bribery is ceased, child reverts back to exactly the identical behaviour. Keynote: Giving hugs and kisses is a gesture to make children realise they’re valued and cared just because they’re parent’s true love. To understand your child’s thinking, emotions or inner feelings keep the phone in a distance whilst interacting with him. It’s important to dedicate time to child emotionally and physically. We create distance from household to establish and maintain relations with remote men and women. Turning off your phone, particularly if it’s’smart’, is among the simplest ways for most of us to bulge up our focus and concentrate on the present.
Keep in mind
Parents will need to understand what is important now and in future is in front of the eyes rather than on the display of smartphones. If parents can’t pay more attention to a child it is okay, but dismissing child’s existence isn’t tolerable. Ignorance hurts child emotionally and mentally and emotionally. Building good childhood memories is parent’s duty. Keynote: Can’t listen, is tolerable but ignorance is intolerable.
Saying yes to everything won’t make you an perfect parent. It’s not essential that all of the demands are fulfilled every moment. If requirements are out of your reach because of lack of funds or time, you can always say NO in a civilised manner without causing physical or verbal violence. Loving or reflecting very good behaviour does not necessarily mean you always have to compromise in each situation to prevent aggression.
Let the child understand that each and every demand isn’t real to be fulfilled. This way we could also prevent jeopardised situations like getting the call from nursery or preschool since child’s behavior is a headache for many others also. It’s much better to listen and teach kid social ethics and standards in your home rather than get humiliated in front of guests or outsiders. Keynote: It’s important to teach but not to penalize! This is a really good source of reducing aggression and anger.
Many times kids are extremely energetic and need some source to channelize their energies. When it doesn’t happen they become competitive and difficult to be managed. Physical actions encourage them to self-regulate physically, mentally and emotionally. For instance, doing trampoline actions at a house or going out to parks to perform running can be beneficial. Moreover, riding a bicycle or playing obstacle course with pillows or soft toys can be achieved at home. This also helps them in researching new jobs and learning through doing.
Physical actions create and activate brain cells which aid in cognitive and perceptual development. Additionally, doing tasks with playmates or friends raises socialisation and social abilities. Keynote: Channelize kid’s energies in the favorable direction. Spanking contributes to NO change in child’s behavior. Many times out of frustration parents spank children thinking this will prevent his undesirable behavior however spanking sparks more aggression and aggression. Expressing anger peacefully is catchy but more effective as long-term behavior modification as opposed to scolding or spankings.
Spanking is modelling violence that might be mild but detrimental. It needs to be avoided completely. Hitting in any form doesn’t teach the kid how it feels when being hurt rather it disturbs the lesson, says Elizabeth Gershoff, a child development specialist at the University of Texas in Austin. She says kids do not alter their behavior instead they hit more other men and women. Keynote: Monkey see, monkey do! This develops child’s understanding of right and wrong. No yelling or scolding rule does not mean permissive parenting. There may be other approaches which may be used such as powerful eye contact gesture, making a sad face, to show dislike towards kid’s action. Nine months onwards children have the ability to understand”NO”, so this gesture can be used to demonstrate resistance or discouragement towards wrongdoing. Paediatrician Dr Harvey Karp indicates a”clap-growl” technique.